Explaining 4-H: pretty ribbons, life lessons & bovine bullies
Trophies and purple ribbons are pretty. They also collect dust. Standing in a championship class is an awesome feeling. But you learn more from standing at the bottom and earning the right to be first. Blue ribbons awarded to a child who sits nervously with a judge build self-esteem. Yet the real lessons have nothing to do with the color of the ribbon; it’s about remembering the pride of work created through the project preparation. I’ve watched my daughter experience this all week as her non-livestock exhibits were judged – and explained she’ll soon forget the color of her ribbons, but she’ll always carry the lessons in her heart from the fair. 
4-H fair season evokes memories of carnivals, cotton candy and cute kids for many visitors. It’s representative of a simpler time, where families went to create memories before YouTube, Disney and iPads. I know because going to fairs was the only vacation my dairy-farming family ever took when I was growing up. I also spend countless hours watching visitors at the county and state fair to study how they react and encourage 4-Hers to answer a visitor’s unasked question. Little do most of those visitors know what goes into spent in getting the kids, animals, and projects ready for a fair.
It’s even more difficult to see the life lessons at work behind the scenes. The cake decorating exhibit doesn’t list “at least 20 hours of practice, unending patience and serious use of meringue required” – nor does the foods display say “recipe development, food chemistry, nutrition and 6 a.m. baking learned here.” The poise, polish and presence on stage is a bit more obvious in fashion revue, but the sewing project needs a poster showing “perseverance, desire and a sense of style needed” – not to mention an extraordinarily patient teacher (which I am not and am thankful to a talented seamstress friend who has given my daughter a lifelong gift).
Nowhere on the fairgrounds is there a sign reading “it takes a community to build a 4-Her” but as I watch generations reach out to embrace more 4-Hers, volunteers spend hundreds of hours teaching and leaders carefully organize an experience that can benefit children from all walks – I am so proud of our Boone County 4-H family. 4-H is unquestionably a family affair – and fair weeks build memories that bond families. After all, where else do you have the opportunity to fight with your child about the silliest details, bleach white clothes in a moment’s notice and pick straw/animal hair out of every article of clothing? On a more serious note, 4-H families are built by the parents willing to drive their child 45 minutes multiple times a week to lease a cow, a father who spends an afternoon helping his child build a display, or a mother in the kitchen endlessly helping a child learn the craft of baking.
The highlight of my family’s 4-H experience centers on our beloved registered Holsteins and helping with our county’s dairy project. July is pretty much filled with cow hair, manure and clippers. As you may have followed last year, my daughter purchased her first heifer and is more than a little proud of her – to the point that the heifer has been on a diet for the last month because she was quite fat. The beloved heifer “Ving” is now a big spring yearling, spoiled by being regularly dressed up by little girls and loves to try to bully anyone she can, including grown men. Yet there is a certain little girl who has worked with the heifer non-stop and the pair make quite a sight. 
I have watched 90 pounds of tough girl learn to coax a very stubborn 800 pounds through brilliant animal handling and then turn around and stomp off, screaming in frustration when Ving got away. I have watched my daughter learn about genetics and calving ease through selecting sexed semen to breed her next generation. I have listened to her have complete conversations with her heifer while on the washrack and sing as she continues to learn the “art of the blend” while clipping the perfect dairy hairstyle. I have seen her confidence grow as she realizes she has all the skills (and biceps) she needs to show with style. It’s been an honor and privilege to be in the front row to witness the life lessons taught by 4-H dairy cattle – alongside the many wonderful people who have surrounded her in that teaching. She shows next week and I’m so excited for her (and all of the kids in our dairy project); I’ll be the one in the background praying for no bovine bullying while trying to hide my tears of joy and pride.
Explaining the lifelong benefits of 4-H to people who have never experienced it firsthand is nearly impossible. Yes, the paperwork is grueling, the hours are countless, kids whine, parents grumble and black belt time management skills are required. But nothing can replace the pride in a 4-Her’s face on a job well done, watching them learn the importance of helping others and seeing young people find their passion in life. How can you be sure that’s happening for the youth in your life? There’s no better place than the fair!
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Great 4-H story and brought back so many memories of what it taught me! S0 many times in my speaking to the public I tell people if I can only give back to the program what it has given to me, then my time on this earth will be well spent. I have been a volunteer 4-H leader since 1955 and still love working with the program and young people because it is hands on experience and teaches so many life skills!
Kudos to you for writing another great book on a subject that needs so much clarification with all the choices out there today and all the misinformation that families have to wade through while trying to make good choices for their families!!!!
The life skills aren’t immediately evident, but they sure last a lifetime! Thanks for your kind words on Food Truths from Farm to Table – it will be nice to see it come out in 2017!
I’m still currently in 4H but also a college student and reading this made me remember the special life and family that I’ve had since I was 6. I show beef cattle, and sadly this is my last year in 4H but reading things like this inspire me to try to have a club of my own and to be a volunteer once I’m out of college
Please do continue your 4-H legacy as a leader, parent and alum! I loved showing cattle, but have to say watching my daughter and other 4-Hers is pretty comparable.
Very well written, thank you for this. My husband and I knew from long before we were even parents that we would raise our children with the 4-H program. If every child was able to experience the learning, friendships, generosity that is demonstrated through this program, what a world it could be.
Thanks for your kind words. It’s a whole lot of work being a 4-H parent, but well worth it when you see the pride in a child’s face.
Reading this brought back so many memories! This article explained it perfectly! I have people ask me all the time “What is 4H?” But it’s so hard to put in words! I miss it everyday and wish I could go back! Thank you for sharing this article, it was awesome!
I didn’t grow up being in 4-H, but my children are. We just got back from our state fair and I realized that for the kids, it is seeing people you only ever see at state fair and remembering them from year’s past and telling them, I hoped you would be here. It is all about the new friends you meet every year. My oldest has one year left, and I know he is going to miss the camaraderie that comes from being a part of such a wonderful program. I grew up in town, so I never had the ability to show goats and sheep like my kids do, and I realized that I missed out on something wonderful. It is a wonderful program for the kids and volunteers who are a part of the program.
Yes, it’s fun to watch them making friends while hanging off of gates and connecting through our beloved animals. Thanks for stopping by!
I was in 4-H 70 years ago. My husband and I were Community club leaders for 10 years (1967-77). Our 3 sons raised registered polled Herefords. All 3 of them were All-Stars. All of this is nice, but more importantly they came away learning responsibility, caring, and a tremendous work ethic which has carried them through all the years.
Exactly – those are lessons never forgotten!
I was that little girl 40+ years ago. Your article brought back many memories.
Funny how those memories live in your heart forever!
Beautifully written! I was a late 4-H starter but grew to love and value 4-H. I was a volunteer for 12 years and see the character 4-H builds. I now have 4-H educators in the family, two State Hall of Fame winners, 4 4-H ambassadors and scholarships winners in our extended family. The hard work and long hours pay off when you see young people who can set goals, manage time and understand the importance of giving back to the community.
I was a Dairy 4H er in the “50s/ and then a leader for about 20 years for my sons,daughter and grandkids in the ’70’s -’90’s.. all the time and effort was well orth it… loved watching all the members grow and mature…with the “lessons” they learned in 4H… and all the great adults/ parents they have become… gwyn Auburn WA
I’m trying to remember how old I had to be go join 4-H in 40s and 50s. I raised herefords and had three grand champions and a reserve champion, but can’t remember at what age I joined> Do you rememer?
I appreciate that while many of the people responding referenced animal projects, you also acknowledged “the other side” of 4-H. I have been involved in the program for 30 years, all in non-animal projects; horticulture, sewing, cooking, photography, public speaking, woodworking and on and on. The benefits of the program are available to all, not just those able and willing to take on an animal. My daughters, both in their 30’s, spent 9 years in 4-H and have volunteered in the program ever since. In three more years, we will be able to start my first grandchild in the Cloverbud program. Can’t wait!
Very well written. I was once a 4-H member, then a leader, then a parent to two, now grown, sons who were 4-H members, then went to work for New Mexico State University Cooperative Extension Service. The 4-H agents along with my family molded me. Most folks think that 4-H is about the animals and that you have to have animals to belong to 4-H but even if you live in town you can learn the life skills taught through the program. 4-H is not just about the animal projects its about living and loving what you are learning. I’d like to thank all the agents, leaders, and parents who are involved with 4-H for all the untold hours of love you give.
Thank you Mrs. Martha Anderson and Mr. Paul D. Hay for helping to mold me. I hope I was able to give just half as much back to the kids I was involved with as you gave to me. Just paying it forward.
We have a small poultry farm and sell our eggs and chickens at the farmers market. My son begged to join 4-h and his biological father was against it. So after years of arguing and lots of time in court the battle was won and finally my son could join 4-h. He didn’t start small with the poultry I was used to handling, he bought a bull calf. I’ll never forget that phone call, ” hey mom, I just bought a calf for next years fair, can you bring me my hay bailing money to pay for it?”
That was the start of it all… I knew nothing about steers, and neither did he. He was a determined young man that made a decision to try something new. The longest project of the fair, we screamed, laughed, had sleepless night, spent more money than we could afford. He made business cards and every person he saw at the farmers market he told him about his steer and asked them to come bid on his steer. That year was a tough year for steer sales but when my son entered the arena his bidders were there, and I’ve never seen my son exude such confidence as he did that night. He had the highest selling price per pound not counting the grand or reserve champions. After he thanked his buyer he ran over to me ( I was crying) and gave me the best hug ever and said,” we did it mom, we did it”
That was our 1st year 4 years ago and now he’s finishing his final year. He didnt do a steer this year since he wasn’t sure if he’d be at boot camp during fair so it was just poultry and as his final animal came up for auction he stood proud and well as any crazy mother does I bought his duck, I paid $50 a pound but I was determined to get that hug that I felt his 1st year.
I did receive that hug and he whispered in my ear, thanks mom.
The moral of the story is, 4-h doesn’t need to start when you are 6 years old, you can start at any age unlike sports where bonds and skills start very young. 4-H is truly a family, I love each member and treat each member as if they were my own son or daughter. I tell them when I disagree with them, don’t like their attitude and make sure they all know that what they are doing is amazing.
My son tells me he’s going to become an advisor now. I couldn’t be more proud of him.