The Unspoken Rules of Farming
~Guest Post by MRS
Marrying into a farming family has brought with it some challenges. There’s a lot of things to learn regarding what is appropriate to talk about and what is off limits. As HandyMan and I have gotten more involved with the farming process he has made a point to tell me some of the things I’m not supposed to talk about with “other people.”
Several of the things I’m not supposed to talk about include (and I may be missing some): how much ground his family farms, how much ground they own vs. rent, how much they pay to rent the land, and – of course I’m not supposed to say anything about how much money we make. There are probably other things for that list, but I’m not sure I know all of them yet. And that is part of the problem. I don’t know the unspoken rules that come with marrying into a farming family. I usually discover them after I’ve already talked about them and HandyMan has to sit me down and tell me, “farmers don’t talk about that.”
There needs to be a manual for these kinds of things!
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about our plans for 2011 and some of the things we’re going to be doing this year. That post included this paragraph:
“This is also going to be our first full year doing some farming. As a way for HandyMan and I to learn about the farming process before we actually take over the family farm, HandyMan’s father has rented us one field. We are responsible for all the decisions and expenses for that field and even though it is only one field, there are still a lot of things to consider and questions to ask. Hopefully, we won’t make too many mistakes!”
When HandyMan read my post that evening, he was immediately upset with me for sharing that information. I asked him what was wrong with it and what I should have left out. “Everything!” was his response. Rereading that paragraph, I still don’t see what’s wrong with it. I didn’t say how much we’re paying in rent, I didn’t say how big or small the field is, I didn’t talk about the chemicals we will or won’t be using on it, I didn’t even talk about what we’re going to plant in that field. HandyMan said that I shouldn’t have said we’re renting the field from his dad, but I didn’t want anyone to think we’re taking handouts and there’s NO WAY we could afford to actually buy a field. Farmland is expensive!
I then asked HandyMan about why we have to be so secretive about farming and mentioned that being so secretive just fuels the general public’s concern about where their food comes from. If we won’t even tell our friends how much ground we farm, how can someone we don’t know trust that we’re telling the truth about the safety of our products?
HandyMan conceded that I had a point and went on to explain some of the reasons for keeping quiet about some of the details. For example, if a landowner discovers that a farmer is paying him $150/acre in rent and paying another landowner $200/acre in rent, then the next time the contract is up for renewal, the landowner will either look for a farmer who will pay more or demand more money from the current farmer. Or if a landowner who is considering selling his ground knows how much ground the local farmers farm, he may approach the farmer with less ground because he thinks they need the land more.
I understand that there are unscrupulous people in every industry, including farming, but in an age where farming practices are under such scrutiny by the media and consumers, I really feel that honesty is the best policy. After all, without consumers, who’s going to buy our products?
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Blue Meets a Dairy Cow
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A-freaking-men MRS!! I sooooo know what you’re talking about, and agree completely. I am a “tell it like it is” sort of person, and it drives me crazy when farmers get all goofy about things like that. We farmers have to get over this “top secret, trade secret” mentality. I understand why farmers can get squeamish about sharing their stories, because they are afraid of them being misinterpreted, but the fact of the matter is that when we keep “secrets,” we only invite rumors to take the place of the truth. So, which would we rather have? Outright speculation and lies about what we’re doing, or factual information that can be referred back to when something gets twisted?? It’s a lesser of two evils thing, but I know which choice I will make every time. Honestly is ALWAYS the best policy! Great job in tackling this issue, it’s a huge one for us farm families!
Welcome to farming!! We have always been open to the number of acres we own/rent but never talk about prices or contract info. Also as livestock producers we always give a “ballpark” of the number of animals we have on our farm. You can never tell if someone will think you are “too” big and make a stink.
Welcome to farming indeed! When HandyMan and I first got engaged, my father-in-law gave me an article to read about marrying into a farming family. The article was actually really interesting and informative, but I don’t remember it mentioning what I was and wasn’t supposed to talk about. That info would have been really helpful!
Was told long ago questions like “how many acres do you farm” or “how many cattle/pigs/whatever” do you have was equal to saying “how much is in your bank account…off limits! There are also those who see size as being more/less “serious” about farming – so someone with 1000 acres is more “serious” than someone with 100? Might be a lot of things but 100 acres can sure depend on what’s on it!
A couple years ago at the Kentucky ARBA convention thousands of rabbits came from all over the country to compete. Many of these exhibitors have hundreds of rabbits, some brought trailers full and vans packed to the top with carriers. Another sent one rabbit with a friend – a Belgian Hare that is a rare breed with less than a few dozen represented even at the national level. That rabbit – her only entry – won best in show over thousands. The jaws dropped around the arena as she was awarded Best In Show. So…was that exhibitor less serious in her quest than the one with a trailer full? I think not. It takes one to make a difference.
Michelle, I come from a family of farmers on my mom’s side. Some of them still have their land, some don’t. My mom was one of those lucky kids who milked 20 cows before school and walked both ways uphill! :~) When my grandfather died, my grandma had 7 kids under the age of 14. Somehow, her share of the family farm was taken away unjustly. Nothing was ever said, though the kids (my aunts and uncles) are still silently resentful of what transpired nearly 60 years ago. Perhaps if more farmers and their families were more transparent, situations such as this one might never have happened. To this day, I can’t understand the culture and have a feeling that it’s family dynamic instead of a “farmer phenomena.” Thanks for an interesting post. Claire
I have just one think to say being a farmer myself is even if you did tell all and truthfully the next guy will one up you thats why they say the first lier never wins and nobody expects a CEO or a Doctor or Such to tell all. But you will find that when farmers get around other farmers outside their home turf its a lot easier to talk about these things because your not competing for the same thing
I enjoyed the post and its perspective being different from my own. Having been born into the farming lifestyle, for years I believed it was important to be wary of sharing information of almost any kind. Even today, when I think about advocating for agriculture I often find myself wondering, “Is this too much information?” or “Could this information be used ‘against’ agriculture?” In the interest of maintaining transparency for consumers, I start out discussing the “big picture” of agriculture with generalizations, before going into specifics, which can still be done without encroaching on “top secret” topics. I think MRS did that very well in the paragraph excerpt; it was well-written without sensitive specifics, although I do understand HandyMan’s concerns, particularly in regards to contracts and competition.
The not talking about land owned/farmed may be a regional thing. I’m from northern Illinois and had a fairly good idea of how much my farm classmates’ families farmed. Ranged from under a 1/4 section to just over a half, usually in 40 acre units.