Balancing Harvesting & Parenting
Fall has always been my favorite season. As summer draws to a close I always begin to look forward to cool nights and decreasing humidity. I look forward football games (cheering for a school that the hostess of this site edits out). I look forward to pulling my hooded sweatshirts and sweaters out again. I look forward to the turning leaves, apple cider and pumpkin pie. And I’ve always looked forward to harvest.
Even when I was just observing harvest from the road as I drove past the fields, I enjoyed it. I loved seeing the farmers in the field, red and green machines working hard all hours of the day and night. When I married into a farming family I continued to enjoy harvest. I got rides in the combine, brought meals to the field and was even coerced into shelling corn one afternoon. Then, last year, we had a baby, right in the middle of harvest. Pretty poor planning on our part!
Last harvest was hard. HandyMan has always helped as much as he could during harvest season, but having a newborn limited his availability. I was at home with Blue all day and needed help (and a break) in the evenings. Some days were pretty ugly. So HandyMan didn’t feel like he could help his dad as much as he wanted to – which made him feel guilty and torn. The few times that his dad did ask for help, I didn’t want him to. I wanted him home with me and Blue, and that made me feel guilty. Both of us were relieved when harvest was over!
This year we are entering into harvest season with some trepidation. After the emotions of last harvest, we are nervous about how this year will go. HandyMan will be helping a lot more this year; going straight from his full-time job to the field and working all evening with his dad as well as helping all weekend. Even though Blue is almost one (wow!), I still feel like I’m going crazy after spending a week home alone with him. I want a break and some adult conversation, so I’m nervous about being home alone with him all day. I want HandyMan to help his dad because it’s important to him and he enjoys it, but I’m nervous about how I’m going to handle being home alone with Blue so much.
If any other farm wives/mothers or farmers have any suggestions, I would love to hear them!
~Guest Post by MRS
10 Comments
Leave a Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.
What a refreshing post. I feel relief when I find others out there in the same situation as me. Our farm is a dairy and harvest is always an extra task that is done after milking into the wee hours of the night. My husband and I have a 1 year old and a 3 year old. Here are some of my tips for managing the stress.
1. If your tractor has a jump seat, strap Blue’s car seat in there and go for a ride as a family. The hum of the tractor will lull him to sleep and you can have a “date” night with your husband.
2. Make the crockpot your best friend. Throw meals together fast so that you don’t have to worry about that as well. Or better yet, plan ahead and freeze meals now.
3. Hire a babysitter and learn to drive machinery. For me helping on the farm (sans children) is one of my favorite tasks. After a day of baby talk, Elmo and dirty diapers, I just want to be left to my own thoughts. Doing farm work allows me to listen to NPR or my favorite music station. Also, you can always call friends from the cab and catch up on the latest news.
4. Plan a small vacation for after harvest. This will give you something to look forward too.
5. Remember this too shall pass. In a few years Blue will want to be with Dad in the tractor all the time and you will miss those times being the go to parent. 🙂
Best Wishes and Happy and Safe Harvest!
Thanks for the tips! I will definitely plan on trying some of them. I especially like the idea of putting Blue’s car seat in the jump seat and going for a ride. It’s amazing how it seems like such an obvious thing to do and none of us had thought of it!
Hmmm..this pretty much sums up my love of fall, except for maybe the crisp air and the crunching leaves beneath my feet!
If you ever need some help with Blue, I could come over in the evening. I could even steal some internet for homework while visiting or watching him. We are pretty busy, but I don’t always contribute a ton to the house. Just let me know! I would love to visit!
Thanks Kalli! I will probably take you up on that offer.
I grew up on a dairy farm and married a crop farmer so I knew what I was getting into. Somewhat. I’ve always taken the boys (ages 9, almost 8 and 6) with me to the field. My oldest was harvesting soybeans with me at a month old! They think it is normal to go from school to the field to plant, harvest or work ground. They do their homework in tractors, semi trucks or sitting on the end of the field. Sometimes also at the kitchen table. I think it is good for them to see what is involved and they are a big help. They learn the value of hard work and that work comes before play. We have fun too. Can you ride with him in the tractor or combine? Is there someone who can watch the little guy for a few hours during the day to give you a break? We hired a high school girl once a week for a few hours after school for a while. She entertained the boys and I got some free time even though we were all here in the house at the same time. It helped a lot. I also work off the farm part time which saves my sanity. I need “my own thing” to call my own. I have my own friends and job which I need for my own identity. Is there a group or club you can join to get out of the house once in a while?
It does get better as they get older. Take one day at a time and try to enjoy him while he is little and snuggly. Don’t be afraid to take him with you. I took my boys with me everywhere I went and they have learned to behave well in public.
I second the crock pot suggestion. I also love my electric pressure cooker. I can cook a “real” meal quickly on those days when nothing goes according to plan.
Thanks for the suggestions! It’s so nice to hear from other farm moms who’ve gone through the same thing. I don’t know very many women in my community who are married to farmers and have young children – so it’s great to be able to get advice from women who have gone through the same things!
Oh, I so feel your pain!! Emily’s advice is spot-on! I have a 4, 2, and 1 year old. I clearly remember being in your shoes. I was a lot like you, loved farming but not from a farm, then married a farmer. After having my first child, I so wanted to be able to get back out and help on the farm and spend time with my hubby again, but I wasn’t sure how, and I didn’t want to leave my baby. My husband finally forced me (in the nicest possible way) to pack up my baby and we rigged the carseat up in the chopping tractor. It was the best of both worlds, and my son didn’t complain one bit, in fact, he loved it! Try bringing your baby along with you, you’ll be surprised and relieved. Babies are much more portable than we give them credit for. All of my children have spent countless hours riding in tractors and combines, and I firmly believe we are better off as a family because of it. Also, make a deal with your hubby that the first rainy day is date day…no ifs, ands, or buts!! And ditto on the freezer meals and the crockpot…seriously, check out my blog…it’s all about how I deal with life on our Iowa farm, and I’ve got some good recipes for freezer meals in there too!! iafarmwife.com
It’s so nice to know I’m not the only one who’s experienced this! I love the “rainy day date” idea! And I will definitely check out your blog. Thanks for the suggestions 🙂
[…] for more? Related posts: Balancing Harvesting and Parenting Mom Frustrated with Food Guilt Eating Right During […]
Ditto to all of the above. And I can’t stress enough, take Blue with you and as hard as it is: this too shall pass (it goes so quick–I can’t believe it). I now have a 14, 13 and 10 year old and I don’t see them much(school activities and my son is in the field as soon as he gets home). So enjoy all the moments along the way and you are truly blessed to be an at home mommy and farm wife.
And crock potting is great – but our guys love pizza occasionaly in the field and so do the kids.