Mom Frustrated with Food Guilt
Overwhelmed. Confused. Frustrated. Guilt-Ridden.
~ guest blog post by Kim Kotecki
This is how I’ve felt about buying food for my family, as I try to find the balance between our health and our budget.
Is it possible to go to the grocery store without being confused and then overwhelmed by guilt around food? We learned talking to people in agriculture can help with that.
Being the mom of a curly haired two-year-old, I have spent the last two and a half years being inundated with what I think is “fear-based marketing” about nutrition for myself, when I was preggers, and for my growing cherub.
In our line of work, my husband and I try extra hard to live a stress-free lifestyle and all of the messages I was receiving about nutrition were really stressing me out. Talk about Adultitis™!
Being self-employed and in charge of marketing for our company, I am conscious of how “fear-based marketing” works and it really stinks to be on the consumer side of such fear tactics.
Through blogs, parenting sites, T.V. shows, Facebook, and just hearing others moms talking, true or not – this is the message I heard loud and clear…
“Do not buy ‘regular milk’ for your one year old. Do you know what’s in there? You need to bite the bullet financially and go organic – for the health and well-being of your child.”
Well, I bought the ‘regular’ milk anyway and hoped the fear-based marketing was just a ploy to sell overpriced milk. But was it?
I had guilt. I felt like I was unofficially allowing my precious daughter to someday go through premature puberty by allowing her to ingest all of the extra hormones that would not be found in organic milk.
Were the rumors about the hormones even true?
Heck, I don’t know… but I assumed they probably were. As a former teacher, I saw far too many girls wearing bras in second grade! What’s up with that?! Somewhere along the way the connection was made that it was because the milk is filled with hormones. As much as I wished I had gotten at least a few hormones along the way (ha!), I didn’t want my daughter to be Dolly Parton in high school, ya know?
So, at the end of the day, did I believe the marketing – the messages about hormones and milk?
Yes, I hate to admit it, but I did.
Was I gullible or just guilt-ridden?
(Side note: Aren’t us moms too often guilty of assuming the worst case scenario when it comes to our kids?)
At the end of the day, we just couldn’t afford the organic stuff. It was double the price and already our household budget had taken quite the hit with baby food, diapers, healthcare, (the joys of self-employment) and all of the other little expenses that come up in the day-to-day – like those toddler-sized Chuck Taylors she “needed.”
Then, Michele came into my life and my eyes were opened to a whole different perspective on this conversation (thank goodness) I asked her my questions about my concerns and confusion. Her answers – as a real life dairy person – astounded me! I realized that I was in the unique position to have a friend whom I trusted who “knew her stuff” about all of this. Most new moms don’t have this person in their lives and so they make one of two choices – either they buy organic to help themselves sleep better at night or they settle for the “regular” stuff and hope for the best (while feeling guilty for not giving their child “the best” that’s out there).
I asked Michele…
Are there really hormones in the milk that will give my daughter premature puberty or worse (the “C” word – cancer)!?
What are the advantages of buying organic?
Are there advantages of eating non-organic, besides the obvious (more money left over to buy other things)?
What about fruits and vegetables?
These are the basics, I know, but to find a trusted resource is priceless.
Busy, overwhelmed parents need these answers!
One of the first things Michele shared with me is that farmers LOVE their cattle! She shared that they work VERY hard protecting the milk quality and then it’s tested over and over again to make sure it is safe from anything that might harm a consumer of any age. They have strict regulations that they abide by on a regular basis to make sure that the milk continues to be safe – antibiotics are not in any of the USDA Grade A milk in our dairy case. I can feel confident that the milk I am giving my daughter is “the good stuff.” Great news!!
I also learned that the organic section of our grocery store does not necessarily offer the same peace of mind. After having my eyes opened to the rigorous process USDA and FDA requires for products used by farmers, I heard that some organics can contain carcinogens and may have a greater risk of causing food-borne illnesses. Yikes! At the end of the day, I am happy to support the farmers that make up a good portion of the very state we live in (Wisconsin). I will know that if I start to hear rumors filled with more fear based marketing about non-organic foods, I’ll will seek firsthand information from Michele or someone in agriculture right away! She helped me understand it’s about making our family’s food choices on facts, not marketing, much like farmers decide how they’re going to farm. That sure helps me feel less guilty.
How can this message get out there to those like me, who didn’t know where to turn when the final decision needed to be made?
Kim Kotecki is a mom and former kindergarten teacher who moonlights as an author and entrepreneur. Kim and her husband Jason (a professional speaker and cartoonist) make it their mission in life to fight Adultitis™ and help people use strategies from childhood to create lives with less stress and more fun. Stop by www.KimandJason.com, follow them on Twitter or Facebook.
Note from Michele: I asked Kim to share her experience about being a mom overwhelmed with food “information.” I think she’s representative of many moms out there who don’t have the answers and don’t know where to find them. Our conversation happened casually in the middle of a lake – an honest exchange between friends. I tried not to be defensive or use a lot of science, but just talked mom to mom. I urge you to do the same, whether you’re a farmer or a consumer – find someone you can ask questions about the food you buy for your family – don’t believe the food guilt promoters!
Hungry for more? Related posts:
Dr. Oz, Food and Urban Legends
Food Choices
High Fructose Corn Syrup: Good or Bad?
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Thanks for a nicely written blog. However, your “answers” section does not answer the questions you asked. My husband is from a dairy family too, and so I know dairy farmers love their animals, which is important, but an animal welfare question not about what is in the milk.
Second, you discuss antibiotics, which I also know from being in a dairy family are strictly monitored on ALL dairies. However, you do not answer the question you most discussed at the beginning: Are there MORE hormones? (yes, all milk has some hormones)
Finally the most disappointing part of your blog is that you are upset about organics using fear-based marketing, and then you turn around and do the same right back by alleging the “C” word right back (I’d love to see some references, since organic is also USDA and FDA regulated, I fail to see how their standards would be lower for carcinogens and food-borne disease than conventional food). You are using the very thing you say you hate.
I believe the point of Kim’s post was that she was glad to know more firsthand perspectives on different types of foods. There are advantages and disadvantages to both conventional and organic. ~MPK
New today in the NYT: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/26/business/26milk.html?_r=1&emc=eta1
F.D.A and Dairy Industry Spar Over Testing of Milk
“Today, every truckload of milk is tested for four to six antibiotics that are commonly used on dairy farms. … Each year, only a small number of truckloads are found to be “hot milk,” containing trace amounts of antibiotics. In those cases, the milk is destroyed.
But dairy farmers use many more drugs that are not regularly tested for in milk. Regulators are concerned because some of those other drugs have been showing up in the slaughterhouse testing.”
Hi Crystal. Thanks for stopping by. After spending years milking cows, I can tell you that keeping milk clean and safe is a top priority for dairy farm families. FDA has described this as a very limited program that just looks at a small subset of farms that had previous violations. ~ MPK
[…] Friends like Kim & Jason Kotecki also challenged me to be less defensive about agriculture and asked a lot of questions. After publishing weekly food facts on Facebook in 2008, I started to see other speakers sharing […]
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